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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Lawyer Humor

You Know You Need A New Lawyer When: 

- The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other. 

- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. 

- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser." 

- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." 

- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy. 

- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot. 

- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger. 

- Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers. 

- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever." 

- He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs." 

- He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra. 

- He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..." 

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